Twofold
by can
Summary: Somewhat of an epilogue for Dog With Two Bones Please R/R
1. Default Chapter

Title: Twofold  
  
Author: Can  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summary: After Dog With Two Bones  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Thanks to Neuroscpr for reading  
  
  
  
The blackness of space could be menacing if you weren't used to it. In this part of the universe there was not so much as a star to even gaze at.  
  
They were all gone. Everyone who meant anything to him, and it was his fault. He wanted it all, Aeryn, his friends and Earth. He had been greedy, but didn't realize it until he found himself alone in his ship in this great expansion of space.  
  
Lost, bewildered and alone, he finally understood what the old woman was trying to say. She had told him to 'see the truth, confront your fear'. Well he finally understood, but too late.  
  
As the module floated aimlessly in space, John checked his instruments. His two most important resources, oxygen and fuel, were getting dangerously low.  
  
"John you know we must do something. We don't have much time." The clone, Harvey, was intruding into his thoughts.  
  
"Go away, Harvey! Just go away! You and Scorpy are part of the reason I'm in this predicament! So just shut up and leave me the hell alone!" John had made many mistakes in his life and Harvey was one of them. John had fallen back on the clone in his loneliness. He had allowed him to become a part of him. It was easier than fighting off the emptiness he felt in Aeryn's absence. Harvey had served a purpose for a time, but John didn't make him go away when he should have.  
  
"But John you can't mean that. We are in this together. If you die, I die. I'm not ready!"  
  
John knew it was time. He knew he had to stand on his own now without the clone. "Can it, Harvey. I'm putting you in the dumpster for good! I'm taking back control!" Part of John still wanted to hold on to him, but he knew he would always be there. He was just putting him aside for as long as his subconscious would allow it.  
  
"Done. Sorry Harv, I should've done it sooner. Never should have let you stay after the chip was gone." John felt empty. Now he had no one to talk to. It really didn't matter, he wouldn't be around much longer if his instrument readings were correct, but at least he would die without voices in his head.  
  
He was getting lightheaded now, as the lack of oxygen was starting to play into his thoughts. 'Confront my fears.' Yeah-old woman, thanks for the help just a little too late.  
  
My greatest fear happened. Aeryn left me again, perhaps for the last time. Fate was going to play a joke on the both of them this time. They would never meet again as John Crichton was going to die in the ship that had brought them together. 'How's that for fate!' John was giggling to himself now.  
  
"Fate! Frell fate!" He was surprised that he could still feel anger, numb as he felt.  
  
"Well Aeryn, I guess you knew something I didn't. You don't have to face your fear now. I'm definitely not gonna die in your arms, just alone. At least he had you there with him when he died." The emptiness hurt now, as his lungs were laboring for air.  
  
John thought of the other one as he chuckled slightly. 'At least you got to love her, my man. I hear you did it well.' John grimaced, wishing for just one more touch of her soft skin, one more look at her beauty before the blackness took him for good.  
  
He opened the flight recorder, knowing his time was near the end.  
  
"Hey Aeryn. Things are a little tense right now. Don't think I'm gonna make it. My oxygen and fuel are almost out, but I want you to know what happened to Moya. She was swallowed by a damn wormhole. Do you believe it, a frelling wormhole! Go figure!"  
  
John stopped recording as he lost his concentration. Reforming his thoughts he attempted to continue, " Sorry, Aeryn. I'm not thinking too clearly now." He stopped the recorder again, the pain of his loss overwhelming him. Death was knocking on his door and there was so much he regretted, so much he had to say. He knew he would never be able to get all of what he wanted to say on the recorder. 'Keep it simple.'  
  
"You've got to find Moya, Aeryn. She's lost and you're the only one left who can help her now. We owe her that."  
  
John felt himself fighting for air at his last sentence. There was only one more thing he had to say to her.  
  
He took a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs with air.  
  
"Aeryn…fate isn't going to see it our way this time. Sorry I ever said that. Just want you to know, I understand, and I love you."  
  
Every word he spoke was getting more and more difficult. He wasn't finished as he fought to get the last words out before he couldn't breathe anymore. His voice labored, sucking the last bit of breath in he said, " I love you beyond …hope."  
  
With those last words, he gave into the darkness that beckoned him.  
  
  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
She finally found release, flying her ship. The tension she felt on Moya finally leaving her. But she still carried him with her in her heart, in spite of herself.  
  
'Why Crichton? Why did you have to try and stop me? Don't you realize the pain I've been in since I lost him?'  
  
Aeryn remembered his last touch, so familiar. His words, "do you love John Crichton?" The tears were cascading down her face now.  
  
"Will this never end?" She shouted as her heart ached for the man she loved. She was so confused. A part of her wanted to accept him, but she fought it.  
  
She will never forget all the hurt she had inflicted on him. She could see it in his eyes every time she looked at him.  
  
'He had nothing but patience for me and I couldn't even acknowledge him. But he still loves me. How can anyone be so forgiving?'  
  
All these thoughts came crashing in on her at one time. "Just stop it Aeryn. Do what you know you must! No emotions!"  
  
But she had become more, as he told her so many cycles ago. She knew she could never ignore her emotions again. She was not a peacekeeper anymore. She had evolved into a whole person, thanks to John Crichton.  
  
She sat back in her ship and relaxed, thinking over the dilemma, finally coming to terms with whom she really was. 'You never deserted me. You always stood by my side no matter what the condition. I at least owe you that much Crichton.'  
  
She caught herself at the last word of her thought. 'Crichton.' She didn't even realize that she had never used his first name until that moment.  
  
Aeryn realized in that instant how much she had torn this man down. How empty he had to feel.  
  
She remembered the explanation of the twining. Both of them were the same, same thoughts, same DNA. The only thing that separated them now were their own unique experiences; and the fact one of them had died.  
  
"What have I done to you?" Aeryn made her decision. This man truly cared for her as the other one had. How could she not have seen that, as she turned her ship around.  
  
  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
Aeryn rechecked her coordinates, confused by the lack of Moya's presence. 'Where did Moya go?'  
  
  
  
She scanned her immediate area. The scanner picked up a single ship, just floating. Aeryn headed for the coordinates and saw the module floating dead in space.  
  
There was no doubt it was John. 'What the frell happened?' She thought as she approached the module.  
  
She opened the communication link between the ships, but received no response from the farscape module. "Frell John, answer me! John!"  
  
She only heard silence on the other end, as panic was setting in. "No John you can't leave me! I won't let you!"  
  
As she maneuvered closer to the pod she could see him, his helmet against the window. She felt her heart sink, realizing he was unconscious if not dead. The tears were starting to well up. "Frell. I've come back for you and you want to die on me. I really can't take that again John!"  
  
She scrambled out of her seat to put on her suit. She was going to save him whether he wanted her to or not. He was not going to die this way!  
  
Aeryn tethered the two ships together before she ventured into the open space. The hatch on the module was resistant at first. It seemed frozen, but Aeryn eventually got it open.  
  
Entering the ship, she saw John's state, completely unconscious. Aeryn checked the oxygen levels on the console and saw they had been exhausted several microts ago. She knew she had little time to revive him.  
  
Pulling John out of the pilot seat, she looked at the flight recorder and grabbed it. She knew he liked to talk and the recorder might fill in the gaps for her. Aeryn held onto him tightly as she transferred him to her ship.  
  
She pulled his helmet off quickly checking for a pulse. Aeryn gasped when she couldn't find one. She quickly proceeded to massage his heart and breathe for him as he had once shown her, taking note of the deathly pallor that had washed over his skin.  
  
Aeryn could get no reaction from him. Frustration set in as she started pounding on his chest vigorously. "You're not going to do this to me John! I came back and you are going to live!"  
  
She leaned back on her knees and felt the tears well up. Aeryn didn't know what else to do. Perhaps she was too late.  
  
What a coward she was. She hadn't wanted another one to die in her arms, so she had let him die alone with no one to comfort him.  
  
Aeryn had put herself first, never thinking for once what was best for this John. Death was painful enough, but to encounter it alone must have… She couldn't think about it anymore.  
  
She looked down at the prone figure searching inside herself for strength. Aeryn would not be defeated, as she leaned over and tried breathing for him again.  
  
"Please John," she whispered before her mouth met his. She breathed her air into his lungs hoping her second try would be successful. She had no idea how long he had been this way. She proceeded to massage his heart again, suddenly seeing a little color appear on his face.  
  
The sound of him gasping for air and coughing were music to her ears as she silently thanked the gods she wasn't too late. She saw John struggle to his side as she helped him turn.  
  
The shallow breaths he had been taking seemed to become deeper and more regular on his side. Aeryn hesitated to touch him, but finally let her emotions consume her as she cradled him in her arms, rocking him gently.  
  
"Thank the gods your back, John. I thought I had lost you."  
  
John was sure his mind was still playing tricks on him again, but his head and ribs hurt. All he wanted to do was sleep now. Logic was not part of his brain function.  
  
Aeryn watched him pull away. He curled into a ball and fell into a deep sleep. She left him alone realizing whatever he had been through had been traumatic for him. He needed the sleep. She would just bide her time until he awakened. She had no way of knowing how this would affect him mentally and physically.  
  
Making sure he was stable, Aeryn rose to her feet, reaching for the flight recorder. She clutched the device, settling herself into her seat.  
  
Aeryn held the recorder with both hands against her chest, debating. Glancing back at John, she turned and stared ahead. Her finger slowly moved over the recorder. As she felt for the button, she hesitated for a microt. Taking a deep breath, she turned it on. 


	2. Epilogue: Twofold

Epilogue for Twofold  
  
By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com) Rating: G Summary: After DWTB Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Thanks to Neuroscpr for reading, and Alison M. Dobell for encouraging me to continue this.  
  
  
  
She kept her eyes on the scanners, only occasionally glancing at the sleeping figure. Her concentration was directed on finding Moya. All the other thoughts that threatened to intrude were pushed away. 'Too much right now,' as a single hand wiped away the dam that threatened again.  
  
Aeryn had been sitting for an arn in the same position. She knew it was time to move about, as she felt her muscles stiffen.  
  
Rising to her feet she went to check on John. She studied the peaceful look on his face, wishing he could always look so. His life since coming here had been more than any human was prepared for. Still he had handled it well after all was said and done.  
  
Aeryn eased herself down by his side. She lightly traced her fingers over the contours of his innocent face, longing to wake him. There was so much that had to be said. So much hurt that needed to be healed. The sigh from her lips was filled with pain, pain for the fragile human and herself.  
  
She didn't feel him stir beneath her, as she was so deeply lost in her own thoughts.  
  
xxxxx  
  
John felt himself drifting. He could feel the light caress of a hand stroking his face, but it just propelled him deeper into his memories, the memories of her and the sins that marked his life even in death.  
  
The scenes flashed before his eyes, Zhaan, the nurses, the Gammak Base, Gilina and the latest, the command carrier. The remorse he felt was overwhelming as he groaned in his own tormented world.  
  
The dark turned to light as he thought of his constant, Aeryn. He saw her smile, remembered her touch. The happiness he felt quickly turned to sadness as the other appeared in his memories and the loneliness encompassed him.  
  
All he could remember now was all the arns he had been without her. Aeryn in someone else's arms, the yearning that had almost been his demise. The final kiss, 'What does that remind you of?' Her answer 'yesterday.' A knife plunging his heart, the pain so intense he wanted to cry. 'No please no! I can't do this again!'  
  
John started crying, feeling intense pain in his ribs, the throbbing in his head getting worse.  
  
'Pain?' The thought suddenly penetrated his groggy mind. 'If I can feel pain I can't be dead.'  
  
He felt the hand that caressed his face, afraid to move. Well if this was heaven, he didn't want it to stop. John didn't want to open his eyes, fearing the soft hand would leave. The ache in him was intense as his longing increased.  
  
' Oh God please don't let this be a dream!' He screamed in his mind.  
  
He dared to open his eyes, afraid of what he would find. The light was intrusive as his lids fluttered, trying to adjust. Slowly he focused, holding his breath, for fear of losing the incredible warmth his soul was feeling. He wanted to hold onto it as long as he could. For once he felt safe and secure.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn was startled out of her thoughts by the immense emotion John displayed. He was crying in his sleep. Her heart stirred for him, knowing he must be facing some inner turmoil. She feared she was the cause of it.  
  
Stroking his forehead, she knew she had to bring him out of it.  
  
Quietly she called his name. "John.John." All the while running her fingers across his face. "You're safe, but I need you to wake up now. You need to tell me what happened to Moya."  
  
He heard the voice and his breath caught in his throat, afraid he was hallucinating. He could still feel the hand stroking his face and savored it.  
  
"John! You need to talk to me," Aeryn said soothingly.  
  
Still feeling he might be in the surreal; he ventured forth and raised his hand to feel hers. Meeting it, he felt her flesh, solid. This was not a dream. He was sure of it now.  
  
Slowly he turned his head to meet her face above him. All he could do was stare, taking in every feature. He had no words for the moment.  
  
Aeryn reciprocated, just stoking his face. There was nothing that could be said that made any difference. She took all of him in, seeing the reddened eyes, finding herself being drawn into them totally without regret.  
  
She knew this was where she belonged. The other one still was with her, but time would take care of that. This man lying before her was alive. He was the one who needed her now.  
  
"Aeryn," John said in a cracked voice, holding onto her hand tightly, "please don't leave me again. I.."  
  
" Shh, I'm not going anywhere," she replied as she glided her hand over his parched lips. Reaching for her water and bringing it to his lips, she asked about Moya.  
  
John was having difficulty concentrating, his mind still fuzzy from lack of oxygen. He took a deep labored breath before telling her the story of the wormhole.  
  
When he finished, she simply nodded in thought for a few microts. She felt his body shiver slightly and reached for a blanket. Covering him with it she spoke, "It's not your fault, so get that out of your head now. We'll find Moya together."  
  
John smiled slightly before closing his eyes. He suddenly felt very tired. "Aeryn?"  
  
She looked down at him. "What John?"  
  
"Why'd you come back?" He asked, reaching for her face and gliding his hand over her smooth skin. "I thought you were so sure about what you wanted."  
  
Aeryn struggled with his question, not really sure how to answer him. After several microts she answered him from her heart. "You asked me a question. 'Do you love John Crichton?'. My answer to you was yes. At that time I was wrought with emotion. After I left Moya and was flying free, I realized there was only one, and that one was here."  
  
John struggled against the fuzziness in his mind. "Aeryn.I'm me."  
  
She looked upon him smiling. "I know John. Now sleep. I need you completely recovered so we can find Moya."  
  
Peacefulness encompassed him as he heard her words, allowing him to settle into a deep sleep, free from any dreams or nightmares.  
  
She slowly rose to her feet as he slept and picked up the recorder. Opening it she carefully took out the tape, clutching it closely to her chest. She slid it into her vest, with no plans of ever speaking of it. These were the words of a dying man, words that deserved to remain in the heart, but ones she would never forget.  
  
  
  
The end 


End file.
